I wake, feeling as though my neck is broken,

wanting to scream at the top of my lungs,

expressing the pain that is shooting through my body.

This happens

every

single

day.

 

Today I woke up, almost rested

it is nearly 3 pm

the best part of the day

because it is the hottest.

 

Amazingly, even though the fans are all turned off

the air conditioning vent is also closed tight.

 

Next, a steaming hot 30 minute shower

non-narcotic "pain relievers" and healthy herbal supplements

and pillows in all the right places.

 

Now, for a few hours (2-3) I get to finally just relax.

My pain has dropped to a 5 on a 1-10 scale

a rare and astoundingly good day

even though my neck still feels broken

and my elbows are yelling their distress.

 

I hate the dizziness on top of the vertigo.

But these 3 hours out of every 24 hours, are worth it

to come off a screaming level-10 agony

once

every

day.

 

I can’t help but wonder "Is this really all that can be done for this kind of pain?"

 

Perhaps it is because I am the gender that routinely gets sub-standard treatment

or maybe it’s my health insurance that gives me a mere 3 hours of semi-normalcy out of every 24.

That’s better than believing that this is what everyone in the U.S.A. can expect for severe, chronic pain.

 

I don’t "buy" the idea that we, the United States of America, have the "Best Healthcare In the World".

My experience has been that of severe neglect and sub-standard treatment.

And the worst part is, I’m so not alone.

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