I wake, feeling as though my neck is broken,
wanting to scream at the top of my lungs,
expressing the pain that is shooting through my body.
Today I woke up, almost rested
it is nearly 3 pm
the best part of the day
because it is the hottest.
Amazingly, even though the fans are all turned off
the air conditioning vent is also closed tight.
Next, a steaming hot 30 minute shower
non-narcotic "pain relievers" and healthy herbal supplements
and pillows in all the right places.
Now, for a few hours (2-3) I get to finally just relax.
My pain has dropped to a 5 on a 1-10 scale
a rare and astoundingly good day
even though my neck still feels broken
and my elbows are yelling their distress.
I hate the dizziness on top of the vertigo.
But these 3 hours out of every 24 hours, are worth it
to come off a screaming level-10 agony
I can’t help but wonder "Is this really all that can be done for this kind of pain?"
Perhaps it is because I am the gender that routinely gets sub-standard treatment
or maybe it’s my health insurance that gives me a mere 3 hours of semi-normalcy out of every 24.
That’s better than believing that this is what everyone in the U.S.A. can expect for severe, chronic pain.
I don’t "buy" the idea that we, the United States of America, have the "Best Healthcare In the World".
My experience has been that of severe neglect and sub-standard treatment.
And the worst part is, I’m so not alone.